in the beginning.

in the beginning
were the words.
my words in the dark
creating something out of nothing
weaving chaos into the tapestry
of wasted life.
my words loved the possibility
of you.

and now my words are full of ghosts:
the girl i was
the girl i believed myself to be
the girl you think i am–
the Trinity of bad decisions,
moral compromise,
and existential decay.
i am nothing
remotely close to who i could have been.

lost in the dark
with these ghosts
and all the empty words
promises made
and broken
lies we tell ourselves
to justify an empty heart
my life reduced to words unspoken
and potential unfulfilled.

the brutality of existence
on display.
this is it
my one life
and i’ve squandered


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