nothing scares me.

i see you in every gaze i meet
but you are nowhere
i hear your voice
in all the words you’ll never say.
it aches.
your absence is a tangible thing.

and you leave
like i knew you would
and i choose to believe the lie
because you’ve asked me to
and it never seems to matter
what i want
when i find joy
so i won’t ask anything of you.

please stay.
please.

i want something
larger than myself.
something that scares me
because nothing scares me anymore.

i want to hear all the words
you’ve promised not to say
because the truths that hurt
are better than
this silence.

i hate this goddamn silence.

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