engine of chaos.


will move past this
one day you will have forgotten
to remember him
to remind yourself of all the ways
you weren’t enough
to drag your nails along the edge of the wound
you knew would never heal.
it will be no more than a scar
faint and fading as time erases everything.
you found your heart
after so long an absence
and in the awful conflagration
you set your soul alight
and now you burn with the wild intensity
of a thousand nascent stars
the world you knew distant,
its former heartaches vague.
you will forget his name
and the hurt you allowed yourself to feel
the shame that sat unchecked
at the secret core of you.
you are so much more than this
each time you let truth burn its name onto your skin
to carve its sorrow into your bones
you become more real
more capable of the freedom that you seek
more able to love
with the bright chaos you hold in check
inside of you.
an engine of chaos
a sea of fire
warmth in the chill of the vacuum.
you will hold the center
until it is time to
let go.


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