Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun; it shines everywhere.

William Shakespeare

Gretchen Whitmer is quite the polarizing figure, to say the least. Loved — maybe? — by her risk-averse constituents and loathed by the sane ones. She is the queen of her fiefdom, the bureaucratic überKaren. Many are the reasons to dislike her.

And yet I find her fascinating.

She is not an unattractive woman, my friends, however unattractive her policies may be. Better dressed than many of her contemporaries, often favoring bright colors, which I find endearing. Her hair is well coiffed, and decently highlighted. She is above average.

And yet.

She is so shiny. Not “shiny” in the Firefly sense, for my fellow Browncoats. It’s her face. You cannot tell me that one of her cadre doesn’t have any blotting powder or oil blotting sheets in their bags.

I mean.

From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I am a helper, I’ve compiled a short list of oil control products to help Gretchen out in her time of need.

1. Clear & Clear oil absorbing sheets.

2. Glossier Priming Moisturizer Balance

3. Estée Lauder Double Wear foundation

4. MAC Set Powder

5. MAC Blot Powder

Just the basics, but it’s a start. I really hope this helps, Gretch.

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